FEATURED INSEASON MOM-FEBRUARY 2012

Name: Claire B. Hegarty

Age: 45

Residence: Dublin in the Republic of Ireland

Child’s name and age: Ciarán (pronounced Cirawn), 4 years old

Current or former profession(s): I am on a five-year career break from an executive assistant job in Tourism. Between parenting, blogging, pet sitting, caring for my mother and squeezing in and at yoga, I am busier than I ever was.

PREGNANCY

InSeason Mom: How long were you trying to get pregnant?

Claire:  Around three years

InSeason Mom: What did you do or not do to increase your chances of getting pregnant after 35?

Claire:  At age 38 and after years of thinking I didn't want children, what I thought was mythical - the body clock - suddenly kicked in! I didn't do anything much to increase my chances as I just assumed it would be okay. Then when nothing happened except a miscarriage, I considered IVF but after research discounted the idea. IVF seemed to take over the lives of people. If IVF didn't work, the devastation would be even more unbearable for me.

When I hit 40, I thought that was it. My chance was over. I decided that parenting probably wasn't the path for me. I put it out of my mind. I threw myself into other aspects of my life. Then, out of the blue, at age 41, it happened! The amazing thing was that I was three months pregnant before I even realized! The idea had gone so far out of my mind. I had even lost track of my cycle because I wasn't thinking about it anymore.

SUPPORT

Medical Community

InSeason Mom: How supportive were your doctors during your pregnancy? Were you surprise by their reaction?

Claire: My doctors were reasonably supportive. I did feel though that they were more worried about me because of my age. They seemed at pains to point out the statistics of abnormalities in the babies of more mature people but I was only slightly worried myself.

InSeason Mom: Did you change doctors or would like to have changed doctors? Why or why not?

Claire: No. I found my doctors to be fine. Although one did say that because I would be almost 42 when I gave birth, the chances of having another would not be very high and I would be 'pushing it' to be expecting to have a 'normal' outcome if I tried.

Family and Friends

InSeason Mom: Who was the first person you told about your pregnancy and why?

Claire: I told my husband and then my mother because they were the two most important people to me at the time.

InSeason Mom: What was the reaction of friends and family when you told me about your pregnancy?

Claire: Most of them were delighted for me but my mother was worried because of my age. A few thought I was selfish and someone else said I was brave.

LABOR AND DELIVERY

InSeason Mom: Did you take any childbirth classes? Why or why not?

Claire: I went to antenatal classes because I thought that is what I should do. I found the classes informative but embarrassing especially when partners came along. I did meet another forty something mother to be there though. We had our children within weeks of each other. Our children are the best of friends now!

InSeason Mom: Where did you give birth?

Claire: I gave birth in hospital. I thought up until the last minute I would have a natural birth but then I had a panic attack. I really freaked out so they decided they would do a c-section.

InSeason Mom: What do you remember most about the birth experience?

Claire: I don't remember much except that wonderful moment when they put my son into our arms! I now understood what people meant when they went on about it!


I AM A MOM

InSeason Mom: What concerns you most about being a mom over 35 and how do you compensate for this fear?

Claire: I am sometimes concerned that I will die before he is a fully-fledged adult. I compensate by taking better care of myself mentally and physically than I did in the past. I eat better. I drink less, exercise more and I take yoga classes during the week. My mother always says 'you don't have to be older to die' and she's right. I know many mothers who are much younger than I am but are less healthy and less energetic.

I also have concerns about him being an only child. I had two miscarriages at age 43 and 44. Now, I am almost 46, giving him a sibling doesn't look likely.

InSeason Mom: What do you enjoy most about being an older mom?

Claire: I am more aware of how quickly time goes and how important it is to cherish the moments I have with my child. I used to be embarrassed if someone mentioned that I was an older mom but now I revel in it.

InSeason Mom: How has becoming a mom changed you?

Claire: I am less selfish and I have reconnected with the fun side of myself, a side that had been waning before I had him.

InSeason Mom: What advice do you have for women considering motherhood after 35?

Claire: I would just say go for it as soon as possible. If you are anything like me, you will want to have another. I had a total turnaround in my attitude to being a mother and I am thankful that I got the chance, at least once.

InSeason Mom: Any additional comments?

Claire: Check out my story over at http://www.fortysomethingfirsttimemum.blogspot.com/

InSeason Mom Cynthia would like to thank Claire for being an inspiration to moms across the world! A new InSeason Mom will be featured each month. Check out previous featured InSeason Moms:

9 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks Lucy. I think you may have visited my blog before. I often visit yours. Like the frugal thing you are doing at the mo! It's lovely for me to be featured here on Cynthia's blog because she is also a fortysomething first time mum.

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  2. Lucy, I agree Claire is a great mum and Claire, thanks for your comment.

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  3. Our daughter-in-law is a forty something mom and their children are beautiful.

    Well done interview of Claire. She's an inspiration to women considering pregnancy at a later date in their lives. Claire speaks from her heart about her boy. And what an adorable little guy he is!

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  4. Donna, thanks for stopping by and for your comments. Claire is an inspiration. Your daughter-in-law is blessed to have such a supportive mother-in-law! I briefly visited your website and plan to return. You’ve written great faith-based books for children.

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  5. Cynthia and Claire, another collaboration resulting in an interesting, informative, encouraging, and enjoyable interview!

    Claire, I'm looking forward to getting to know you and your son better via visits to your blog. Thank you for visiting mine and especially for sharing your thoughts.

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    Replies
    1. It's lovely reading your blog Anita and thanks for your lovely comments!

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  6. Thanks Anita, I'm glad that you enjoyed the interview and I always appreciate your supportive words.

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